The Art of Letting Go: Stoicism and Attachment
Saturday, the 5th of October 2024, 2:30 PM
Let us face it: letting go is not exactly an easy goal to accomplish. Whether it is material possessions, outcomes we have worked tirelessly for, or even relationships we hold dear, releasing our attachment feels unnatural, almost impossible at times. Yet, the ancient Stoic philosophers had a completely different perspective on this. They believed that learning to let go of our attachments is essential to living a fulfilling life. Stoicism teaches us that attachment, even if it is to objects, people, or ambitions can weigh us down and ultimately prevent us from living in harmony with nature and with ourselves (and as we have learned in our previous posts, this is the base of Stoicism). In this journal, we will explore the Stoic approach to detachment, examining how letting go of material possessions, outcomes, and even relationships can lead to a more peaceful and fulfilling existence.
1. Letting Go of Material Possessions
When it comes to material possessions, most of us are guilty of clinging to things we believe bring us happiness or security. After all, we live in a society that constantly promotes consumerism (Think Christmas, Saint Valentine, and more). However, Stoicism encourages us to view material possessions as momentary and ultimately unimportant to our inner peace.
According to Weaver (2023), the Stoics believed that wealth and possessions could easily be lost, and therefore, they should not be the foundation of our happiness. Epictetus, a well-known Stoic philosopher, famously said, "Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants." In modern word, this could translate to decluttering our lives—, both physically and mentally. Do we really need that extra pair of shoes or the latest smartphone upgrade to feel fulfilled? Probably not. By learning to let go of our attachment to material things, we free ourselves from unnecessary stress and anxiety, making room for what truly matters: inner contentment.
2. Letting Go of Outcomes
If there is one thing we all hate, it is uncertainty. Whether we are waiting for exam results, a job offer, or even just the traffic to clear, we tend to attach ourselves to the outcomes of situations. Yet, the Stoics teach us that the outcome is never within our control, only our actions and attitudes are. Jain (2024) explains that Stoicism promotes indifference to outcomes, encouraging individuals to focus on doing their best and accepting whatever comes next.
Marcus Aurelius, in his famous Meditations, reminds us to act rightly and leave the rest to fate. This is where many of us struggle as we think: "How can we detach ourselves from something we care about deeply?" The Stoics would say that while we should give our best effort, obsessing over the result is pointless and detracts from our present moment. Letting go of the need to control outcomes is liberating because it relieves us of the burden of expectation and disappointment.
3. Letting Go of Relationships
Now, here comes the tricky part. We all value our relationships, whether with family, friends, or romantic partners, but the Stoics suggest that even these attachments must be approached with caution. Zenius (2024) explains that while Stoicism does not advocate for emotional detachment in a cold or unfeeling way, it does encourage us to maintain a sense of independence and self-sufficiency. This means acknowledging that relationships, like everything else in life, are temporary.
By practicing this form of detachment, we can appreciate the people in our lives without becoming overly dependent on them for our happiness. When relationships inevitably change or end, as they often do, Stoicism helps us manage the emotional charge with grace and resilience. This is not to say we should become solitary people, but rather that we should cultivate a sense of gratitude for the relationships we have without placing our emotional well-being entirely in their hands.
The art of letting go, according to Stoic philosophy, is not about denying the importance of material things, outcomes, or relationships. Instead, it is about recognizing that attachment to these things often leads to suffering and distraction from what truly matters: our character, actions, and inner peace. By learning to release our grip on material possessions, outcomes, and even the people in our lives, we can foster a more balanced and fulfilling existence.
Hopefully, your approach to detachment and letting go has changed after reading this post, which marks the fifth week of this Stoic writing journey. Welcome to your new life, and thank you for setting aside time to read this! If you want to learn more about this important topic, I invite you to explore the references I have included. I assure you, it will be time well spent on some insightful reading. See you in the next post!
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